Double Luge Is The Weirdest But Best Olympic Sport
And that, comrades, is double luge.
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It’s exactly like singles luge…
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…except they added a guy on top of the other guy.
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It’s a multi-layer luge. Two pieces of bread, but not a sandwich.
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And some might say…WHY?
Because it’s an intimate sport.
It’s kind of like public cuddling.
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And logically, it makes no sense to me. Why add a person?
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And if you’re going to add people, why stop at two? WHY NOT THREE?
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Hell, why not four?!
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AND FUCK IT, while we’re at it, GET A DOG ON THERE.
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Wait, nevermind about the dog. I don’t want it to get injured by the spikey fingers on their gloves.
Anton Novoderezhkin / Anton Novoderezhkin/TASS / Getty Images
So yeah, while I am confused by double luge, I also am here to defend it. Because it might just be…THE PERFECT SPORT.
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First of all, it’s always fun to have a buddy.
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And when there are two people on the luge, sometimes it looks like the front person is a spider. That’s fun.
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The two of these people are in this together. Bonded by ice and spandex for life.
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We will never understand them. And they will never understand us.
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But I root for them, because sometimes you just want to lay flat on top of someone else and speed down a cold slide.
Anton Novoderezhkin / Anton Novoderezhkin/TASS / Getty Images
And they are LIVING OUT THAT DREAM!!!
So, I am here for double luge and all that it brings to the Olympics/the world.
NEVER STOP LUGING. NEVER STOP LAYERING HUMANS. Peace and love to all! Bye.
